The Onion is on a continued roll!
According to numerous reports, local 62-year-old Earl Bailey, who owns a shotgun and several boxes of ammunition, is currently the last bastion of defense between the United States of America and the federal government’s plot of a full-scale takeover.
Bailey, a recent retiree and a proud advocate of gun rights, has been confirmed by multiple sources as being a true patriot, and is, at present, the only person capable of preventing top-secret forces within the government from striking and forcefully coercing hundreds of millions of Americans to submit to a fascist and brutal New World Order.
A common NRA talking point is that if we lose our guns then somehow our government will take over. I’ve always had trouble squaring that circle. I’m not sure how a bunch of [mostly] civilians with handguns, rifles, and shotguns would fare against the number one military in the world.
Especially if our military and government decided to go all “Dr. Evil” on us. In that scenario expect carpet bombings, nukes, chemical-biological warfare, and an armored ground assault comparable to Desert Storm #1.
Yet the NRA would have us believe that farmer Brown and his shotgun will save us from this nonexistent threat!
-BCP
Bill,
As much as I am bewildered by the current gun paranoia; I am a believer in responsible gun ownership and the importance of the 2nd. Amendment. Currently, the federal government is considering the “North American Defense Authorization Act”. There is language within the act which would indicate the use of U.N. Forces on American Soil against American Citizens. The same act, also, includes language which would allow U.S. forces to go house to house to remove arms from any citizen who has such. There is concern about our Constitutional Rights which does merit diligence in protecting. In fact, it is the history of all nations for the government to be or become abusive. The Founding Fathers of America having full understanding of Governmental abuses toward subjects/citizens drafted the Constitution with a clear appointment of the “People” being the control of the Government; not the other way around.
The “Hillbillies”, “Farmers”, and “Wannabes” you have made mention of in satirical context do exist; and most likely, will be the paranoid people who do something stupid during this time of determining what is to be done about gun violence in America. However, one should never think the American People would be defenseless against it’s own government. If the Fed did go “Dr.Evil”… the Military is comprised of American People whom would never act against the will of “The People” in favor of “The Government”. Besides that, many civilians were former military, some of whom are “subject matter experts” in a variety of areas which would make “The People” on par with “The Military Industrial Complex”.
Hopefully, however; calm and clear minds will prevail and our Constitutional Rights will be preserved and our National problems will be solved…
Sol,
Thanks for your comment. And yes, you bring up a good point that pokes another hole in the NRA “Dr. Evil” scenario. I suspect many in the U.S. military would refuse a Dr. Evil-like takeover assignment.