Spike TV’s Deadliest Warrior series returns in April!
The runaway success of the first season sparked endless debate among fans and now Spike TV is back to fuel the flames with more legendary combatants going head-to-head in a fight to the bloody finish.
In honor of this momentous occasion I’m proposing a blog edition of the Spike hit! We can call it The Blogosphere’s Deadliest Martial Arts Warriors! Here’s the season one line-up!
- Wim Demere vs. Jean-Claude Van Damme
- Dojo Rat vs. Chuck Norris
- Chris vs. Kimbo Slice
- Patrick Parker vs. Mr. T
- Nathan vs. Judo Gene LeBell
- Matthew vs. Geoff Desmoulin
- Steph vs. Kelly Hu
And in the 2 hour season finale…
Bob Patterson and Tater Fist vs. Steven Seagal! Seriously. One of us can handle his bloated ego while the other one takes on Mr. Seagal!
-BCP
I want to see if their glorified Excel spreadsheet can defeat OpenOffice on Linux.
We can call it “Clippy Goes to War”.
Chump Norris better start praying…
Deadliest Warrior better start looking for a new host.
I’m trembling with fear…
And of course, as “executive producer”, I get a significant cut of the ad revenue and merchandise.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I started getting a bit nervous with the undertaking. I thought to myself maybe the physical stuff might be too much for me – what with his bionic eyes and such.
Then I thought what would I have to do with his ego? I guess I would be giving a type of therapy to him while Bob danced and weaved outside his grabbing distance. I mean, I can’t imagine him running at us or anything – that would destroy the mood instantly.
So I’d be asking questions like, “how does it feel to be a direct to video semi-star” or “The pain of your marriage breaking up must have been significant – how do you utilize that pain in your acting?” And so on.
I’ve never fought back to back with Bob, but he knows that I get slapped around by 12 and 14 years olds, so with that in mind I believe that victory is near.
We can do it Tater! We BOTH have better conditioning so we can both keep dancing. You can taunt him with verbal jabs and a meatloaf sandwich. While he’s distracted I’ll pounce! Given that you get beat up by teenagers and that I frequently curl myself in the fetal position and cry, he doesn’t stand a chance!
Can I trade?
This Seagal beatdown is starting to sound fun!
Chuck can wait.
blonde vs brunette : blonde every time
Steph – ask and it shall be given. I updated the post. You are now in the battle too!
DJR -
I don’t see why not. Akidoists train again multiple attackers – he should have no problem with us. (just hide the pizza)
hahaha, nice fight rounds, will be fun to watch.
Chuck Norris, don’t get me wrong, I love the man but isn’t he a little bit old for this now, he’s probably sitting in a nice retirement home now and I feel it;s a little bit wrong to kick older retired people
And Steph, yeah show them what blondes can do, anyone got Kelly Hu’s homenumber so we can arrange this?
Mr T, oh boy, he will just show his bling unto the sun and blind the poor man while making a runner for it to nearest ice-cream bar.
Segal now, that’s a different tale, this fight is fair and square and in the name of all decent tv-shows that could have been aired instead of his ‘show’.