So late last night I caught Spike TV’s debut of Kung Fu Killer. It stars none other than exercise Tai Chi master David Carradine and Daryl Hannah. Here’s a couple reviews of this…movie.
It’s easy to see why this laborious clunker was scheduled in a suicide slot opposite NBC’s thrilling, gorgeous Beijing Olympics
There’s an abundance of choreographed martial arts, as well, and a cast full of characters direct from central casting. What’s missing is any semblance of plot and character development.
Already broadcast in the UK in February the show was nominated for two Leo awards for editing and the soundtrack. Unfortunately, many may feel those are the only redeeming qualities in the entire project.
- Bob Patterson: “It made my loins ache.”
I’ll close with a video of Master Carradine practicing Hose Fu.
I don’t need to convince anybody that I know kung fu, but maybe somebody needs to know that I really can act, without doing a Chinese accent or a funny walk.
-David Carradine
Update: 8/19/08
I figure I’ll just keep part two in the same post as part one. So with a car wreck fascination I found myself watching part two of Kung Fu Killer last night. Heck, I had many unanswered questions like:
- Will “White Crane” use the deadly Seven Star Flagellating Hose technique?
- Will Daryl Hannah get some decent lines?
- Will Steven Segal make a guest appearance?
Sadly, the answer is no to all of my questions!
The highlight from part one and two (and believe me I’m struggling to find a highlight!) is that I actually saw White Crane use some chin na. Kudo to his fight choereographer because I doubt he learned that in backyard hose fu.
Anyhow, I made it though the first hour before I seriously considered going out to my garage and cracking myself over the head with pine board. It’s as if they ran out of money on part one because part two had a lot of night fight scenes. Well the lighting was so poor you could not see what was going on. So, for all I know White Crane may have whipped out his hose and started to spray.
I’ll close with the offical trailer:
I’m still breathless.
~BCP
