Bob Patterson Drills Chuck Norris

OK, OK, I’ve tried to step back and give Mr. Norris the respect he deserves for what he has accomplished in the martial arts world. However, when he throws into politics and the current oil crisis I just have to weigh in!

And if we are even more aggressive with drilling, we can drive down prices like a pile driver. More than 100 billion barrels of oil are available off the Pacific, Atlantic and Gulf coasts and under Alaska, and that’s not counting the oil shale reserves across the Midwest that rivals the reservoirs of the Middle East. It alone could satisfy America’s need for gas for 13 years! But it’s going to take those political pantywaists in Washington to get off their gas, get a little backbone against environmentalists (who now prevent 85 percent of drilling off our coasts), and pass an emergency resolution to drill here and drill now.

Add to this the recent videos by Mr. Norris. Here’s the first and what follows is the second which aired on Faux News.

Sorry Chuck but coming to you for advice on geology is like going to Larry King for advice on the martial arts!

The minimum training required is a college degree in geology. Pre-college students who are interested in becoming a geologist should take college preparatory courses in earth science, biology, chemistry, physics and math. Courses related to writing, environmental science, computers, geography and mapping are also valuable.

Sorry Chuck but by all the available information that I could find you don’t even have a college degree!

How about we try something from an economist? You know…someone who studies money and stuff.

Under impossibly ideal conditions, we could achieve energy independence for three years by using up our proven oil reserves. Based on published estimates, new discoveries could extend that for a year or two, not much more.

During that three- to five-year period, if OPEC did nothing the price of oil would drop by perhaps 20 percent and then go back up. (This assumes short-run demand price changes will equal 80 percent of quantity changes.)

More likely, OPEC would cut production and there would be almost no drop in prices at the pump.

More than 75 percent of any consumer price benefit would go to foreign countries. (That’s because oil has a single, unitary world price.)

Almost 100 percent of the environmental damage would stay in the U.S.

Thereafter we would be 100 percent dependent on foreign oil.

Oh but there’s more…

What can be done about high oil and gasoline prices? In the short term, nothing. We’ll have to grit our teeth and bear it.

The recently passed changes to gas-mileage standards will help people in the future, but they can’t change the reality that there are millions of SUVs currently on the road. These fuel-hogging vehicles will eventually be retired, but it will be many years before the majority of Americans are driving cars that get better than 30 mpg, much less 40 mpg.

Increased drilling off U.S. coasts and in the ANWR? Same problem. It’ll be years before production can be ramped up. And per Abraham’s argument, it may not move prices down much anyway. It may just help keep our gas dollars in this country.

Many of these long-term solutions are worth pursuing, all simultaneously and in parallel. But they will take time. Many years of time. However, if we don’t get started, the situation will never improve. Just think how much happier we’d be if fuel efficiency standards had been massively raised 10 years ago and we all now had cars that got 50 mpg. Or how much money would have stayed inside the U.S. if the ANWR had been opened for drilling 10 years ago.

While opening up ANWR to drilling along with other long term solutions like more fuel efficient vehicles may help for a short time, one question remains: Is it worth the potential environmental damage to ANWR?

Chuck would have you believe there’s a silver bullet solution to this: Drill now! The reality is not–nor usually ever is–this simple. The fact of the matter is that the current gas crisis is a complex problem with no simple solution.

Regardless, this much is certain: Turning to someone who has no degree in geology or business for a solution to a problem that requires exactly that makes about as much sense as putting a screen door on a submarine.

Stick to hawking the Total Gym™, Chuck.

The reason gas prices are so high is Chuck Norris was thirsty.

(Click image for even more Chuck!)

~BCP

Pullin’ The Proverbial Plug…

Sabum is getting ready to break the bad news to our students. Namely, that our humble TKD club will end in early August. I can tell she’s stressing over it. Mostly because she feels like she’s letting the students down. However with the gas prices and the very long distance to Master C’s she’s not keeping up on her training and not growing. So, this is not fair to her.

Plus, I made it to 5th gup and started over 15 years later. She made it almost to black belt in college before starting over with our current outfit. So, if the remaining students are truly serious about taekwondo they can do the same. In fact, I plan to make a short list of commercial options for our remaining students so it’s not like we are leaving them totally high and dry.

Then there’s the fact that as an “official” student organization we cannot (and do not) charge for lessons. So, as much as I like our current crop of dedicated students I really do not feel too guilty here! What would have cost AT LEAST $720 for a year they got for free!

Anyhow, after class last night she needed to talk and I think she needed to hear from me (again) that this was the right decision. It really is. Logistically this is just too much for two people. Plus, once we start to get folks promoted into the advanced ranks they graduate and we have to start all over! I REALLY am tired of the semester-to-semester recruitment efforts and will not miss that at all. And don’t even get me started about the campus red tape!

The good news: She plans to take a break and focus on graduate classes. Then, after her first semester she plans to get back into taekwondo. The school where she plans on taking graduate classes has a taekwondo club so she’ll be kicking again one day.

Slightly related news: I tried the so-called rear choke defenses last night. Tornado summed it up best: “…and sleep!”

The only thing that stands a chance to work is to get a hand between your neck and the attacker’s arm. If you do that you stand a very good chance of slipping the choke or throwing them. Once they have it locked in both the hapkido and BJJ throws were very hard to pull off. You can pull them off it the person is applying light to medium chokes. However, if they are really locking it in all I can say is good luck.

Granted, perhaps a good grappler would have better luck here. However, for those of us who briefly visit the grappling realm this experiment was dismal at best. I guess this experiment was akin to trying to teach a grappler how to do a 360 turning round house kick in one night then expecting them to pull it off.

Good luck!

~BCP