Slap Your Co-Worker Day?

OK I just received an e-mail that announced tomorrow is “Slap Your Co-Worker Day”.

Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don’t give a damn about?

Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you?

Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can loo k in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch?

Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious,when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it?

…I am so very very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! There are the rules you must follow:

• You can only slap one person per hour – no more.
• You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
• You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
• No weapons are allowed…other than going upside somebody’s head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
• CURSING IS MANDATORY! After you have slapped the recipient, your’assault’ must be followed with something like ’cause I’m sick of your stupid-a$$ always messing up stuff!’
• If questioned by a supervisor or police, (if the supervisor is the irritant), you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE!
  

Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping…..and have a GREAT DAY!

The e-mail came with the following images. Truth be told the images made me laugh more than the words!

Ah there’s nothing like a good right cross!

Then there’s this one which is straight out of the Bob Patterson bag of tricks!

Guile, treachery, and sneak attacks will frequently overcome skill and size.

~BCP

Reader Mail and other things…

I’ve received no less than three e-mails from taekwondoists who have encouraged me to find another school and then pursue 2nd dan. Sigh. The only way I’d consider this would be if I eventually move and end up working at another college that has a decent taekwondo club. In that situation the lessons are practically free and I’d consider it. However, since my school is closing the only option I have is to pay a commercial school and they are darn expensive around here. I also do not like the idea of being down-graded in belt ranks and then have to re-prove (or re-test) for cho dan. Technically I took two (2) hour black belt tests. One at my school and one before the board of masters. Worse still, 40% of the test content between tests was different. Add to that the fact that I made it half way to black belt about 15 years ago and I have to say that I’ve had enough, thank you!

Then there’s the physical limitations at almost-41. The aerial and acrobatic kicks are extremely challenging but at 41 I can’t see spending years to master these when, at best, they’d be mediocre and I probably would still not use them when sparring. I now have a good grounding in some usable kicks and will leave with that.

Finally, *some day* I hope to find that martial art that I’ll spend my “retirement” in. I’ve got at least another good 10 years in me so given time I’m sure I’ll find something that fits the bill.

Anyhow, once the school closes I will continue practicing forms, fundamentals, and bag work at home. For the foreseeable future I do not see this stopping. I would not do this if I did not like taekwondo or respect it. This also partially addresses some of the comments I’ve received. Some people are miffed at me because on more than one occasion I’ve said it’s not the best self-defense art out there. Sorry but it isn’t and that’s my opinion (and yes I know their are hundreds of masters out there that could mop the floor with me but this still does not change facts). Taekwondo is a good introduction to self-defense (especially for John Q. Public), physical fitness, sport competition, etc., but if we are talking “pure” self-defense then you need to spend time in a reality system like krav maga. In fact, before I open up the whole “my art is better than your art” debate I’ll say that all martial arts have things they are very good at and also have certain weaknesses.

That’s not being disrespectful it’s just being honest.

Anyhow, for the immediate future I want to address my grappling deficit and do so without getting torn up too bad. With luck this next step will eventually lead to my “retirement art.”

~BCP