The Last Ride of Bob Patterson

We took those students who could go to what may be my last taekwondo tournament yesterday. We actually placed which is no small feat considering how little we have when compared to many commercial schools. We have to fight for practice space, deal with the moronic student government, wade through campus red tape, practice in a ballet studio that has a wooden floor and often smells like feet. Moreover, much of our equipment is hand-me-downs and is certainly spartan.

(I’m the handsome devil on the left)

Here’s the awards’ breakdown:

• Three third place medals in weapons and continuous sparring (Bob in weapons, instructor and new student in sparring)
• One second place medal in breaking (Bob)
• One first place trophy in point sparring (Super student)

Considering that I helped train these people and also placed I’m very happy.

How did I do? Let’s call it bitter-sweet. First the bitter: I was the only unconfirmed school black belt at this tournament who was competing against a bunch of higher ranked black belts. Suffice to say I was very nervous due to it being my first time up against black belts. In weapons there was only four of us and everyone else was a second or third degree black belt. One guy who was warming up with the sais was doing all these crazy 360 and 540 aerial kicks. Well that’s the last thing I needed to see and it took care of what little confidence I had left. So about half way through my nunchuka kata my mind went blank and I forgot the rest of a kata I’ve been practicing for over a year now! I took a third place medal but am not happy at all about that.

Now the sweet: We had 10 black belts competing in breaking and at least one was a fourth dan. Well when I heard the numbers and saw the ranks I thought it was game over for ol’ Bob. My breaking strategy has always been this: Take a moderate approach and focus on speed breaks, power breaks, or penetration breaks. At my age aerial is out. Usually a few people who try high risk aerial stuff always screw up so I end up placing. My strategy really paid off this time. I’d say 80% of the competitors tried speed breaks or air breaks and only one person succeeded–this on the second try. In addition a few competitors got very upset at their failures and flamed out which cost them points whereas I did not. One 2nd dan set up four breaks: Three which had multiple shots or speed breaks. He failed on just about every attempt and even kicked his holder’s hand who cried out in pain. Then his other holder set up in a front stance while holding a board vertical above his head. I’m thinking “what the hell”? He takes off running, springs off his holder’s front knee, does a back flip and tried to break the board while spinning in the air! He nicked the board and fell flat on his face. In fact the medic had to come over and they think he may have cracked his clavicle from the fall. He is probably an example of overconfidence which is the opposite of my problem.

Anyhow, I settled on some moderately difficult breaks and emphasized coordination, power, or penetration. First out of the gate was a simple round kick on one board. We are taught to break by curling the toes back and using the ball of our foot. Well to kick it up a notch I used the flat of my foot. I hit it a tad high due to nerves but I still broke it on my first attempt. I’m also certain I could have broke two solid but I did not want to risk a broken foot this close to the confirmation test.

Second up was my step jumping axe kick with an already bruised heel. I ultimately decided to go with a stack of six boards using spacers. I think due to the bruised heel and my fear of pain and more injuries I pulled my first attempt. When I did I broke only two and there was a very loud groan from the crowd. Worse still, some jackass in the crowd actually laughed at me! This will be a sound I remember when I’m 80. On the reset for attempt #2 sabum asked me if I could go on with my bad heel. Well suffice to say that between the pain and having heard a jackass laugh at three years of hard work my face remained emotionless but I growled under my breath: “Reset up!”

The second time through I was probably as focused as I have ever been in my life and blasted the stack to bits! I also knocked my breaking stands over. This time the crowed cheered! (fickle buggers!)

Last up was my hammer fist on four solid boards and I took these on my first attempt with no problem.

The result: Much to my surprise I took second place in the black belt division and did so as un-confirmed black belt who was competing with a badly bruised heel against competitors who all had more experience!

Anger rattles some people but most of the time it focuses me like a laser. It’s been that way my whole life. So I wish I knew who it was who laughed. I’d really like to thank them for helping me to take second place!

Sabum sent out a nice post-tournament e-mail to all of us and I just have to share her review of my contribution:

This was Bob’s first tournament participating in weapons. I must say, nun-chucks are a challenge itself but in the Black Belt division—wow! He may have missed a few movements but he did a great job at staying in control and continuing without issues. I couldn’t even tell he missing a section. That happens to the best of us, even [name deleted] made that mistake before too!

I loved watching Bob in breaking. My favorite part was, sorry to say Bob, the axe kick. Going in with a bruised heal, he didn’t even think twice. The boards won on the first attempt. But Bob was not going to sit back and take that. “Reset up!” He was mad now, and left no mercy on the boards. Master “B” even made a comment about the break and his four solid board fist break. Alright, second place in the black belt division!

Master “B” is famous for breaking in our collection of schools. In fact his school is very strict. So knowing that he was impressed makes me feel pretty good. In addition Grand Master “C” was watching the whole affair too which is good thing because for sure he’ll be judging at the confirmation test. If they have to have a memory of me before the test, taking second at my rank in breaking should be it!

The second bit of sweetness is what I’m calling victory by proxy. Last summer I got murdered in sparring by a much younger and very aggressive opponent. This particular school has a reputation for aggressiveness and they crank out some serious fighters. The school is primarily Hispanic and besides taekwondo also teaches boxing which is a national sport/religion in Mexico. These guys throw a ton of hand techniques even if hand techniques usually don’t score points in a typical taekwondo match. They also always keep their hands up and sometimes will throw an illegal technique. They actually play the foul game and will take a few warnings just to rattle their opponent. (e.g. one guy threw a spinning back fist yesterday)

Well our student who gave me a mild concussion a few weeks back murdered one of their students in point sparring. Considering that I helped train him it made me feel really good. He also took first place in point. Considering that this was his first tournament this was quite an accomplishment.

All things considered if this is my last tournament in the taekwondo world I’m very happy how I went out.

I think I’ll close this post with the hammer fist break on four solid. I’m playing around with a free ripping program and can’t get the sound to take. The video is also grainy. VodPod is down for maintenance so I had to go with YouTube.

(My apologies about the quality. This free ripping program sucks and I don’t know when I’ll get around to trying to convert what was sent to us from the tourney.)

~BCP